


Fall out of formation

by melancholic_mika



Series: logan and the others didn't get permission for this feel trip [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Has Feelings, Other, Song Lyrics, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, but he might, chlorine, except one quote, i picture the subconscious as a sad beach, i'm hoping logan isnt ooc, it's their actions, not really in it, someone says one thing, the other gang isn't in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23612299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholic_mika/pseuds/melancholic_mika
Summary: Logan's excluded from the others, alone, forgotten...(uh basically i listened to chlorine but it's slowed down and it really hits the feels, i had an idea for an animatic but i can't draw soooo voila i guess :)
Series: logan and the others didn't get permission for this feel trip [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1699528
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	Fall out of formation

**Author's Note:**

> if you lovely people wanna listen to it while you read along, the version is https://youtu.be/kkzm1_3izgw or just chlorine by twenty one pilots idk up to y'all. warning this is gonna be pretty edgy and i suck at comfort so none of that here, just pure sad angst. x if you clicked this, thank you babes x p.s i ain't using all the lyrics i don't have the talent for that
> 
> oh! btw triggers, suicide and depressing thoughts the ending is very vague (it's hinting but it isn't necessarily dying if that makes sense) it's not extremely graphic but if you're possibly triggered by that, feel by no means that you have to read, you can click off, read some fluff stay safe i love you x even if i dont know you, ily

Logan knew he wasn't important anymore. He knew he was important to Thomas' wellbeing, of course, he was logic after all. He wasn't important to the others. Everyone made that pretty clear, he is only summoned when he's needed and sometimes they forget about him altogether. Part of him knew these thoughts are probably cognitive distortions and he's misreading the situation but he can't help but feel hurt every time he's excluded. What evidence did he have? Sure, they ignore him and make fun of him... No, this is just selective abstraction at best, he only has one part of the equation, he can't possibly solve it. There's not enough evidence. But emotions don't make logical sense, do they?

So when you feel vulnerable, what do you do? You build a barrier, or at least that's what Logan did. He locked himself in this room and spat bitter comments at anyone who tried to come in. The _venom on his tongue was dependent at times._ He felt awful but he felt this way before, was this making it worse? He had to escape, escape _the walls they confined._ They all were the ones that further pushed his characteristics. Look at the first video, he appeared in, he seemed so happy. He wished he could feel that way now. A thought sat at the back of his mind. No, he shouldn't. Thomas needs him. But Thomas never listens to him anyways and you can't erase logic from the mind, not completely. Only his metaphorical body. He felt like everyone _grows while he decays._ He's rotten and not in the fun, entertaining way either. Purely, truly rotting out from the inside out. 

His feet were gravitating towards the subconscious door (since when was he standing?) and he was opening the door before he could even think about it. The subconscious seemed nice by the idea of it, a beach with lovely waves and the sand, but the harsh colours and the eery vibe you get from it is why it isn't a typical beach day location. The sand was a light grey, it looked like ash and the water was a dark midnight blue with white reflections. It didn't look pleasant, it was creepy, yet Logan didn't care. He stepped one foot into the ash coloured sand, memories running through his mind. That is what the subconscious does, it holds memories and things Thomas wasn't focused on, keeping them in this room until Thomas either remembers them or forgets. Forgotten memories fade away into dust, which is what the sand is made out of. Everyone was scared of the subconscious but Logan didn't care. It was kind of welcoming in a way, he was forgotten about, so were these memories. They understood.

Logan thinks he's going insane, dead memories can't relate to your problems, they're not sentient, stop connecting nonsense ideas to your emotions. He shut his eyes, letting the fresh, icy air hit his skin. It's always cold in here.

" _I'm so sorry, I forgot you. Let me catch you up to speed..._ " He heard a voice echo around his head, like it was the wind blowing through his hair. Logan remembered that incident. It was the first time they forgot to ask for his input for one of Thomas' issues and it stung so bad. It felt like a metaphorical dagger through the heart. He wasn't that forgettable, was he? He thought it was a one time thing but it occurred again and again, hurting more and more as time went on. Logan put his feet in the water, slowly walking forward (where was his shoes?). It was a bitter cold but his warm tears contradicted it. He took a deep breath in, letting the wind blow his hair as he started to sing. 

" _I've been tested like the ends of,"_ He took a sharp breath in before finishing with " _A weathered flag that's by the sea._ " He felt ripped and broken, like a flag that's been blowing for centuries. He was tired of it.

He started floating in the water, the freezing dark blue water harshly crashing and surrounding his body. He could see his tie, did he take it off before he came in? Is that it on the beach? He doesn't know. He doesn't care anymore. _He's just a chemical._ He floated there for a while, the cold making him shiver, before taking a breath and putting his head under the cold, harsh water.

**Author's Note:**

> grr that turned out better in my head, thanks for reading and you can tell by the series thing im making a bunch of angsty shit for logan (oh no lanGuAge) i'm sorry this is sad, i'll try to write some more fluffy stuff in my other book to balance it out. i love you x


End file.
